After all my blah blah blahing about how great juicing made me feel last night, I went to bed with a horrible stomach ache, but I'm convinced Aleve was the culprit. I was sure I was dying, as usual. Can I buy stock in WebMD? I'm always convinced that whatever I have is either gas or cancer and WebMD pretty much always confirms it could be one of those things, along with a laundry list of other afflictions. It's like I'm this big time hypochondriac, but at the same time really hopeful. I mean, it could really just be gas. Anyway, I fell asleep late due to the stomach issues and was totally exhausted when I woke up. I require a stupid amount of sleep to function. I still managed to make juice using the same ingredients as yesterday, but it didn't prevent the heartburn like it did yesterday. So sad.
I have a confession to make; I am secretly struggling to cut WAY back on coffee. I drink it everyday and I LOVE it, but I know it's not good for my tummy or my anxiety. If I could get to the point where I just had it on weekends and on vacations, that would be fantastic! But, sadly, I have not been able to do that yet. It's just soooo hard to give it up when it's a freezing winter fuckland outside and you hate your job and you don't know what you're doing with your life and you wish you could find your spot on this planet and... okay, you get the idea. I love it and it's hard to give up. All I can do is keep trying.
Today I looked into schools again. I found one in Austin that looks good. I never in a million years would have ever thought I'd even consider moving to Texas (nothing against the place, just could never see myself there), but Austin is supposed to be a great city and a WARM one! So, it is now on the short list.
Tomorrow is my designated weigh-in day. It will be my first before I officially start watching what I'm eating. And let me tell you, I CANT WAIT! I haven't weighed myself in ages and it's going to be such a fantastic feeling to know just exactly how overweight I am, just exactly how my lack of willpower has served me lately! I want to know just exactly how daunting this weight loss effort is going to feel because the lack of circulation I feel when I put on one of the two pair of pants that still fit me doesn't make it clear enough! Then I get see just EXACTLY how many pieces a scale will break into when it is hurled from a third floor window!! No more blissful ignorance for me! Yay!
Deep breath...
Sorry to read that my girls are having a rough day today. Something must be in the air, like winter and gray skies and dead birds, because I was feelin' poopy too. Mostly tired and lost (what am I going to do with my LIFE??). Tomorrow will be better. Speaking of tomorrow, I plan to-
Weigh myself and report back to you ladies.
Track what I eat and report back to you.
Drink at least 64 ounces of water and report back to you.
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Night-night.
You are certainly not alone in trying to figure out where you stand on this planet. I am always searching for my purpose. I am always stressing about what I should be contributing or doing. It's very daunting. I love that we get to talk everyday via this blog!! :)
ReplyDeleteHard days all around. I think all of us are trying to find our "purpose" I think we are all around the same age too, which I'm pretty sure is the age where you start freaking out about shit like that. Cheers to a better tomorrow and facing the reality of the scale, it is somehow very liberating to get real with number that't in front of you!
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