I've finally come to terms with the fact that I am going to be one of the fat ones at my reunion. I bought a dress for our semi-formal night. I don't even know why we have that night? Are we trying to recreate prom? If so, it will be exactly like my senior prom; no date. I bought a cheap dress because I'm not spending a lot of money to clothe this body. I bought a pair of cheap ass stripper shoes to go with it at Payless! They were 10 bucks. Hahaha! It's not like my feet are fat so I don't know why I was unwilling to buy shoes that cost a little more and won't be the cause of my foot surgery 20 years from now. Knock wood.
I have been dreading my reunion in some ways. I think I've gotten a little anti-social in my old age and I'm not good at that phony reunion conversation where you pretend to remember people and/or care what they've been up to. I know that sounds way bitchy and I don't mean it to. I'm just insecure. And then I don't know what the heck to tell people I've been up to in the last 20 years. Getting fatter. Avoiding marriage and kids. Being a dedicated job hopper. Updating my Facebook status. Blech. I am looking forward to hanging with my best girlfriend from that era sans kids and hubby. I love her hubby and I am a devoted Aunty to her kids, but I'm excited for a girls weekend. AND! AND! AND! And I get to hang with Carmen and Mel!! Yay!
Tomorrow I am getting my roots touched up and I may cut all my hair off again. Short blonde hair sounds fun, but I had a pixie last summer and not sure I want to repeat it. We'll just see how I feel tomorrow.
Been working on my condo tonight and have found more stuff to get rid of. Wish it was worth some money so I could use the profits to replace my broken dishwasher. Oy. Home ownership is a lot of work. Looking forward to renting again. And in my favorite state!!
Muah!
Thursday, June 30, 2011
Wednesday, June 29, 2011
Theresa Made Me Do It!
Well look at little miss Theresa being all inspiring and shit. I think blogging will be my "lifting of my head" even if my blog is one sentence, Imma check in every day. So, prepare yourself for some boring, but easy get through blogs!
I took a ton of stuff to the thrift store tonight. I mean A TON! It made me feel weird. It was hard, but I know in a week I'll forget what I brought there. I made myself a margarita to deal with the loss of my crap. And lemme tell ya, I make a damn good margarita! Just ask Theresa. Actually, ask E. Hehehe.
I'm watching The Voice finale. I have really enjoyed this show and I hope the super butch lesbian, Beverly wins because not only does she have a great rock 'n' roll voice, but it would be awesome to see america vote for her. The woman can seriously rock! Her neck tattoos give me the creeps. I hate neck and finger tattoos. Anyhoo, all the contestants are super talented, though, and I'm sure they will all have careers. Cee Lo Green rocks my world. He is so talented and unique and unafraid to express himself. He makes me laugh with some of his antics. He said something so awesome to his contestant, Vicki, tonight, which went something like this: "There are so many people that you remind me of you, but no ones reminds me of you, so you are an original". I will leave you with that quote, ladies, because I think is a universal truth.
Mucho luvs.
PS- Adam Levine is so cute! And sensitive! Who knew? I mean, he screwed Paris Hilton, from what I read on the interwebs. I don't usually associate people who screw P-Hilton as being sensitive. He is man, though. What man doesn't want to screw her. She looks like a blowup doll.
I took a ton of stuff to the thrift store tonight. I mean A TON! It made me feel weird. It was hard, but I know in a week I'll forget what I brought there. I made myself a margarita to deal with the loss of my crap. And lemme tell ya, I make a damn good margarita! Just ask Theresa. Actually, ask E. Hehehe.
I'm watching The Voice finale. I have really enjoyed this show and I hope the super butch lesbian, Beverly wins because not only does she have a great rock 'n' roll voice, but it would be awesome to see america vote for her. The woman can seriously rock! Her neck tattoos give me the creeps. I hate neck and finger tattoos. Anyhoo, all the contestants are super talented, though, and I'm sure they will all have careers. Cee Lo Green rocks my world. He is so talented and unique and unafraid to express himself. He makes me laugh with some of his antics. He said something so awesome to his contestant, Vicki, tonight, which went something like this: "There are so many people that you remind me of you, but no ones reminds me of you, so you are an original". I will leave you with that quote, ladies, because I think is a universal truth.
Mucho luvs.
PS- Adam Levine is so cute! And sensitive! Who knew? I mean, he screwed Paris Hilton, from what I read on the interwebs. I don't usually associate people who screw P-Hilton as being sensitive. He is man, though. What man doesn't want to screw her. She looks like a blowup doll.
Tuesday, June 21, 2011
Ruby Red
Apparently I can't post a note in our group so back to blogging. I hope no one is reading this besides you gals. Now, on to the events of the day. I accomplished everything on my to do list. I did not go out to eat and ate pretty healthy. I had fun in the form of buying a new red lipstick from a lovely gay man, who's drag name is Ruby Red, at the MAC counter and then coming home and curling my hair and playing dress up. I love playing dress-up. It's the actress in me. I just can't help myself. I was also trying to find something in my closet to wear to my reunion. Ugh. And how much do I love MAC lipstick! It smells so good! I want to eat it! I went to Old Navy and bought a couple of t-shirts and one skirt. Boring, but I need clothes so bad and I am not going to spend money on quality clothes while I'm in my 3rd trimester. No way. This attitude is why I have such a depressing wardrobe at the moment. I need some sassy in my life. Cue red lipstick.
I came home and did about an hour of organizing my closet and then went out for my 20 minute walk, which turned into 45 minutes. Yay! My back was hurting by the end of it, though. Boo! I want to run so bad and hopefully I'll get there soon. On my walk I observed a rollerblader and came to conclusion that there is nothing sexy about that activity, ESPECIALLY if you're not any good at it. Roller skates were so much cooler. I was also reminded that the lakefront is where all the hot men of Chicago hang out so maybe that will motivate me to get my butt out there. I like eye candy.
Tomorrow I will eat at home and bring my lunch to work. I will do at least 20 minutes of walking and working on my condo. And have some fun!
Grateful for-
Energy
Fun
Accomplishing goals
Mom
You
xxJ
I came home and did about an hour of organizing my closet and then went out for my 20 minute walk, which turned into 45 minutes. Yay! My back was hurting by the end of it, though. Boo! I want to run so bad and hopefully I'll get there soon. On my walk I observed a rollerblader and came to conclusion that there is nothing sexy about that activity, ESPECIALLY if you're not any good at it. Roller skates were so much cooler. I was also reminded that the lakefront is where all the hot men of Chicago hang out so maybe that will motivate me to get my butt out there. I like eye candy.
Tomorrow I will eat at home and bring my lunch to work. I will do at least 20 minutes of walking and working on my condo. And have some fun!
Grateful for-
Energy
Fun
Accomplishing goals
Mom
You
xxJ
Monday, June 20, 2011
Gardening is My Antidepressant
Hola Chicka's,
Yesterday I finally planted flowers in my flower boxes and let me tell you, it totally brought me out of the 2 month anxiety/depression fest that has been ruling my world. Last week I contemplated asking a doc to put me on antidepressants because I was so miserable and Miss Bitchface is not even around the corner. But this morning I woke up finally feeling good again and I am pretty certain that gardening was what brought me out of my funk. I have let the stress of moving get the best of me. Bad, Jenna! It has taken over my life and I haven't been able to focus on anything else. Yet, there's not much I can do until I sell my condo and who knows how long that will take? I wish I was better at living in the moment.
I realize now that I have to shift my goals slightly from what they were in January. Realistically, this move will continue to cause me stress, but I want to find ways to control it that are healthy. Binge eating and drinking while not exercising are only serving to make me feel shittier. So, although I don't have the mental fortitude to stick to Weight Watchers right now, I am committing to eating healthy foods. For me that means eating at home at least %80 of the time and making sure to eat fruits, veggies, whole grains and lean protein while limiting sugar and simple carbs. I'm going to quit Weight Watchers for now. It's a great program and I may join again, but I can't commit to weighing and measuring and tracking and meetings right now.
When I was in San Diego I did not track a thing and lost 1.6 pounds that week. The only thing I did was eat a healthy breakfast, stop eating when I felt satisfied and walked about 3 miles a day. I'm going to try doing that here and see what happens. If I walk home from work every day, I will get in about 3.5 miles. And I can walk along our beautiful lakefront, which I will miss. Weight loss is no longer my goal for the time being. I just want to lead a healthy lifestyle and it will be interesting to see what kind of results, weight loss or otherwise, I might see.
My other goal is to do something that I enjoy every day as a form of therapy. I sound like a total crackpot, but I tell ya what, gardening helped quiet all the "what if's" and those "what if's" can just go ahead and suck it! I hate them. I am such a worry wort. I was born with zero coping skills. A mental defect, if you ask me. Anyhoo, I might have to learn to knit or something. Anything creative in nature would do the trick.
So, my goals for tomorrow are-
Eat breakfast and dinner at home and bring my lunch to work
Walk/Run for at least 20 minutes
Spend at least 20 minutes on my condo/move, but no pressure for more than that
Do something I enjoy that does not include the TV or the computer. Guess porn is out. Ha! Just kidding. Wanted to make sure you're still with me.
Not put pressure on myself do to more than I can handle even if it means doing nothing at all
Grateful for-
Feeling so much better today than I have in months.
FT-ers.
xoJ
Yesterday I finally planted flowers in my flower boxes and let me tell you, it totally brought me out of the 2 month anxiety/depression fest that has been ruling my world. Last week I contemplated asking a doc to put me on antidepressants because I was so miserable and Miss Bitchface is not even around the corner. But this morning I woke up finally feeling good again and I am pretty certain that gardening was what brought me out of my funk. I have let the stress of moving get the best of me. Bad, Jenna! It has taken over my life and I haven't been able to focus on anything else. Yet, there's not much I can do until I sell my condo and who knows how long that will take? I wish I was better at living in the moment.
I realize now that I have to shift my goals slightly from what they were in January. Realistically, this move will continue to cause me stress, but I want to find ways to control it that are healthy. Binge eating and drinking while not exercising are only serving to make me feel shittier. So, although I don't have the mental fortitude to stick to Weight Watchers right now, I am committing to eating healthy foods. For me that means eating at home at least %80 of the time and making sure to eat fruits, veggies, whole grains and lean protein while limiting sugar and simple carbs. I'm going to quit Weight Watchers for now. It's a great program and I may join again, but I can't commit to weighing and measuring and tracking and meetings right now.
When I was in San Diego I did not track a thing and lost 1.6 pounds that week. The only thing I did was eat a healthy breakfast, stop eating when I felt satisfied and walked about 3 miles a day. I'm going to try doing that here and see what happens. If I walk home from work every day, I will get in about 3.5 miles. And I can walk along our beautiful lakefront, which I will miss. Weight loss is no longer my goal for the time being. I just want to lead a healthy lifestyle and it will be interesting to see what kind of results, weight loss or otherwise, I might see.
My other goal is to do something that I enjoy every day as a form of therapy. I sound like a total crackpot, but I tell ya what, gardening helped quiet all the "what if's" and those "what if's" can just go ahead and suck it! I hate them. I am such a worry wort. I was born with zero coping skills. A mental defect, if you ask me. Anyhoo, I might have to learn to knit or something. Anything creative in nature would do the trick.
So, my goals for tomorrow are-
Eat breakfast and dinner at home and bring my lunch to work
Walk/Run for at least 20 minutes
Spend at least 20 minutes on my condo/move, but no pressure for more than that
Do something I enjoy that does not include the TV or the computer. Guess porn is out. Ha! Just kidding. Wanted to make sure you're still with me.
Not put pressure on myself do to more than I can handle even if it means doing nothing at all
Grateful for-
Feeling so much better today than I have in months.
FT-ers.
xoJ
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