Small Gain

My small .4 gain has turned me into a WW conspiracy theorist. I should preface this by saying that I know my scale at home is different and I know I shouldn't weigh myself at home. That being said, even if the numbers are different, the result should be the same! I think WW is rigged to keep people paying. I also think the scale on the left hates me. And so does the lady with long ass hair who manages the scale on the left and once said to me that she lost all her weight a half pound a time. Fuck that! I don't want it to take 2 years for me to reach my goal of losing 40 pounds. Actually, I bounced back from the disappointment of not at least maintaining my weight very quickly. What can I do? It's not much of gain and this is going to happen, so whatever.

I was running late this morning so I weighed in and then went to my last session with my trainer and then went back to WW for the meeting. I am going to miss my trainer so much! But, we are going meet up for drinks sometime. Hahaha! He said he's really good at telling people they need to go home. Good thing, since he only drinks on Sunday's. The gays love their Sunday Funday's! I love them too except for that whole workin' on Monday thing. He checked my body fat and I have lost %5 since I started working out with him, which is great news since I was at the top of the body fat scale. I'm still not in the healthy range, but I am much closer! Apparently I need to take more vacations if I want to lose weight consistently. Oh, and this morning's workout was so hard! I am just not a morning person.

Now that I am trainerless I will have to use my Bikram yoga and boot camp groupons. Blech. I'm terrified. My trainer thinks I will hate Bikram yoga because it is killer hard. He is a yogi and says that Bikram heats you from the outside in rather than from the inside out so that's why many yogis feel it is "fake" yoga. I told him I didn't care because I heard that people who regularly practice Bikram yoga lose a shitload of weight. His response- "yeah, because when you're dead your body tends to shrink". LOL!

This weekend I am going to make spring rolls! And also clean my apartment. I need a cleaning lady so bad. I am just not good at cleaning so I should pay someone who is good at it and likes doing it. I will be stimulating the economy and I will become so much more productive in other areas of my life when I'm not living in filthy chaos. Right? Right?  Tomorrow I am going to see a friends show. Kinda looking forward to seeing some theatre. It's been a long time!

Grateful for-
My trainer
A sunshiny day
Coffee
Losing %5 body fat. Woot!
My blogging buddies!

I hope the sun is shining wherever you are and that you all have fabulous weekend!

xoxo

The Fight Not to Gain is ON!

One positive thing about being an apple shaped body is that I can almost always tell when I've gained weight. It's the last place I lose (lose big, anyway) and the first place I gain, always. I think my Easter brunch did a number on me and I feel bloated. I'm giving up all hope of losing anything this week, but I am going to try like hell not to gain! I went to the gym tonight and tried to run. After only a few laps, my chest hurt so bad! Like someone was stabbing me, so I walked for a while, did some ab work and left the gym feeling totally defeated. Stupid exercise!

Tomorrow I will meet with my trainer and try to get some work done on my Microsoft tutorial. BORING!!

Grateful for-

My Mama

My home

My pets

My sense of humor (which is absent tonight)

A new day

Night-Night

Liquid Easter

Why would anyone think bottomless mimosa's are a good idea? They were good, but I drank way too many. I ate really well, but I don't know if that's gonna help me. I've been trying to make up for it, but don't know if that will help me either. Time will tell.

I haven't been blogging much because I don't feel like I have much to say. I definitely am feeling like I have this food thing down. It seems like my appetite is not quite as voracious as it used to be. That could have a lot to do with motivation and a change in season. I don't know? The fitness thing is still really hard for me. I'm lazy. I have two sessions left with my trainer (I will miss him!) and then I think I'll use my Bikram yoga groupon. Those classes terrify me! So do my boot camp classes. I think I have exercise anxiety or phobia or something. Crackpot, party of one? Hello? 

Universe? May I have new job that I love or an epiphany about what I want to do? I would be ever so grateful!

Grateful for-

Friends

Family

Trader Joe's and their amazing prices!

My health

Sunshine!

Later Ladies! xo

Oh Happy Days Are Here Again!

Helloooo, Ladies! I am a very happy girl today. I went back to WW today and I was nervous because I weighed myself at home last weekend and I know my scale is more generous than WW's. Anyhoo, I've lost 2.6 pounds in the last two weeks, according to the WW scale, which confirms that I did indeed lose weight in San Diego and continued to lose at home! Yay! Take that, whooopie pie!! But, this is not the primary reason for my warm fuzzies. On the way to my meeting I noticed that the farmers market, which is about a two blocks from my condo, is open again!!! Yay!!!! I'm so excited. I bought two heads of lettuce on my way home. And skipped the cheese table :-( Summer is so close!!

I feel motivated and energized by my weight loss, so today I'm going to take advantage of those feelings and spend my day cooking and cleaning. I'm going to make black bean burgers and pinto bean burgers to freeze and eat for the week. And then I'll clean my messy apartment (only took one week back-sheesh) and then go grocery shopping for spring roll ingredients and wonton skins. Someday I will try making baked crab rangoon. Yummy! 

Tomorrow I'm going out for Easter brunch and I am not going to worry about the all you can eat/bottomless mimosa aspect of it. I will track and be mindful of my choices. For instance, I now know that I'd rather have something cheesy and bready over something whoopie pie like. 

Grateful for-

Motivation

Sunshine

You

Being invited to Easter brunch

A growing love of cooking HEALTHY. 

Now, if I could just get to a point where I looked forward to exercising. Someday...

Lot's O' Love to you!

PS- I am 1.4 pounds away from being at a 15 pound loss. As much as I try not to focus on numerical goals, I would really love for that to happen this week. Wish me luck!!

Whoopie!

This weeks lesson in lifestyles changes comes to you from the makers of whoopie pies. And that lesson is this; just because you can have something, doesn't mean you should. I ate a 12 point whoopie pie today because I had 40 weekly points left, not because I was particularly craving it or having some kind of diet meltdown. It was really only because a very nice lady on my floor handed it to me and I thought, meh, I have the points, so why no? After eating it I had some major remorse. I could have used those points for something I really wanted, like a giant glass of wine or 20 corn chips and queso. OR, not used them at all, which would have been even better considering I have been kicking ass food-wise this week. My ass kicking streak came to end with that choice. Oh well, live and learn. Sugar always makes me feel so bloated, too, like I gained 10 pounds from a whoopie pie. Blech.

 

This weekend I am going to experiment with spring rolls and toasted wonton skins. I love cooking!! So fun! I will also go to my first ww meeting in two weeks. I'm really looking forward to it. In general I feel pretty motivated, but I have some challenging outings this weekend, like brunch, so I need the meeting to give me that extra motivation. I'll do some laundry and clean and blah, blah, blah, too.

 

Congrats Miss Kim H. on the new job! So much new job mojo around the FT club! I hope I'm next.

Happy Easter, if you're into that kind of thing. 

Lot 'O Love

J

Emotional eater. Who me?

Hello Ladies! I've missed you! I'm all caught up on your blogs and happy to read that you are still the funny, smart, inspiring ladies I deserted for the oceans of SoCal a week ago. Congratulations on the new job, Netty! Anyhoo, enough about you gals and more about me. Ha! Just kidding. I love you all.

There is absolutely nothing more relaxing than strolling the beach in the morning while dogs play, listening to the waves, etc. etc. I did this every morning for 8 mornings. I love the ocean and I love sunshine. The first day we were there we all remarked at the weight that had been lifted from our shoulders. It was great, but by Thursday I was missing my kitties and ready to come home. By this afternoon I wanted to go back. That is how much I do not like my job. It almost brought me to tears today, but I sucked it up and just accepted that the weight is back on my shoulders until I can find something better.

Speaking of weight, I weighed myself at home the morning I left for SD because I knew I wouldn't get to a meeting this weekend and I wanted to gage how I did while I was on vacation. WELL, I lost 1.5 pounds while on vacation. You may be asking yourself how that is possible since I was in the land of booze, chips, and various other treats. My answer is happiness and lack of stress. I was so preoccupied with relaxing and having fun that I wasn't thinking about food every second of the day. I didn't track while I was there, but I was mindful of what I was eating and I managed to really enjoy myself without going nuts. It started at the airport where instead of my usual airport bagel I chose fruit and yogurt. Then I did things like ordering fish tacos a la carte instead of a plate with all the other goods. And one day my friend and I shared a small bacon cheeseburger, onion rings and a malt. SHARED! I actually SHARED a meal! Most mornings I ate fruit and yogurt for breakfast and I walked (more like strolled) for 2-3 miles a day. I enjoyed all the treats, including fudge from the farmers market, but just little bites and, again, never felt like I was depriving myself. I'm so excited about this behavior, especially since the first time I went to OB I gained about 7 pounds. Woohoo! AND! AND! AND I bought a dress. I never ever buy dresses because they never look good on my pregnant looking body, but there was this super cute little boutique that sold Betty Page era dresses and I found one on the sale rack that was so "Mad Men" I just had to try it on. And when it fit I passed out in the dressing room and the clerk had to administer CPR. Okay, that's a lie, but I was surprised and delighted and I spent money that maybe I shouldn't have, but who cares. I love that era in fashion and I deserved it. Now if only I had someplace to wear it. If I lived in NYC this would not be a problem. I could wear to Walgreens and no one would think anything of it. In Chicago I could wear to a black tie affair and people look at me like I'm crazy.

Yesterday I started tracking again. Vacation is over and it's time to hop back on the wagon. Another new behavior for me. It usually takes me at least a week to acclimate to reality, but since I know this about myself I took steps before I left to make sure that didn't happen. I placed an order with Peapod grocery delivery so that I wouldn't have to leave my condo yesterday, but would be supplied with everything I need to get right back on track. Super proud of that decision. Today I have been starving all day, which just confirms that I am an emotional eater. Period. End of story. Stupid fucking job. I need more joy in my life to get rid of the cravings.

This week I plan to track and blog and continue on with the journey. Exercising will be the challenge, but I do have a couple personal training sessions left. Hopefully that will help.

Grateful for-
Safe flights in both directions (I am a fearful flier and it is no fun)
Puppies on the beach
The ocean
Palm trees
Sunshine
Friendly people
Friends
Family
Adventure
New behaviors
Laughter
Cute surfer dudes
Cameras with which to take pictures of cute surfer boys

Night-Night xoxo

Here I Come OB!

Hellllo ladies! I lost 1.2 pounds this week! Woot! And I weighed in at night after a big meal. Normally I weigh in in the mornings on an empty stomach, so I probably lost, like, 1.3. Ha! Anyway, I had a great week with food even if it was difficult due you know who. WHO, by the way, is STILL not here. She's so late! Exercise has really messed with my lady parts. I'll probably get it as soon as I sit down on the plane tomorrow. Back to my weight loss for one moment. In two weeks I lost what I gained in Michigan plus .4 pound and I am super stoked about that because I wanted to have those pounds for San Diego. I still want cake, but now I want April's cake. Dang it! Guess I'll have to wait a while for that :-)

Tomorrow morning I am off to OB (Ocean Beach, San Diego, CA) for a week of doing basically nothing but going to the beach. I make a really good beach bum! Don't even mind sand in my teeth. I am going to be very mindful of what I eat because even though I'm willing to gain a couple of pounds, I'd rather not. I will not be blogging while I'm there, but I'll check in on the group page.

I hope you gals, whom I adore, have a wonderful week!

Grateful for-
Saving $172 in change over the last year! Woohoo!
My Mom
My kitties and my neighbors for babysitting
The ocean
Vacations with friends!

Lots of love and nighty-night!

Don't Make Any Sudden Moves!

Hello to my favorite ladies. I just got home from my dumb-ass job and decided I need to take a little rest before I start mopping. I hate cleaning. Today was a hard food day and I am over my points because I did not set myself up for success. I didn't do any real grocery shopping last weekend since I will be out of town for a week. I'm just trying to use up what's in my fridge. I bought some frozen WW meals for dinners because I'm trying to keep my kitchen as clean as possible, and for the same reason I figured I'd go out to lunch a couple of times. Well, it was a great reminder that prepackaged frozen meals blow. And so does Subway. Yuck and yuck! Sushi rules, though. I was not very prepared for snacks either. So, although I haven't been going over my points by much, I've made this week hard for myself. Today I gave into some samples at the grocery store because I figured a small piece of bread with fresh mozzarella dippy stuff was better than me buying a whole brick of cheese, some cured Italian meats, a baguette and gettin' all cave lady like on my dinner. Nom, nom, nom. And I had 5 corn chips. And I tracked it all. As you all know by now, Miss Bitchfaee is on her way for me, too! And I want to eat everything, but I'm not. I'm choosing bits of things. This week has been all about very slow and deliberate moves. I find myself looking at food for a while and then slowly moving away. The diet police are in my head demanding that I slowly back away from whatever is tempting me. If I don't, I might find myself smashing my face into the nearest cake. I want cake SO bad! I'm hoping I will stumble upon some when I'm vacation. Vacation cake seems so much less evil than your average everyday cake. After the grocery store, I went to Starbucks for a tall nonfat latter. I am now 5 points over for the day so far, but I still have 38 points left for the week. Oh well.  My new mantra is, you don't have to be perfect all the time.  I'm boring you with details, but I don't wanna mop, dang it!

I haven't worked out at all this week. I feel bad about that. I will be starting boot camp and hot yoga when I get back from OB. It's going to be a work hard/play hard summer for me.

Tomorrow-
Hopefully not mop.
Continue staring at my suitcase in hopes of putting something back in my closet. Trying to pack a weeks worth of stuff in a carry-on is not easy.
Maybe go to the gym. I think it would be a very good idea.

Grateful for-
Vacations!
Grocery store samples
Fresh fruit at Walgreen's
You gals
Family

JENWA: PART DEUX

Hello ladies. I am a bit late in my new quarter blog, but better late than never. I thought about reading my first blog because I honestly don't remember what my goals were at that time. However, I think I'll wait until the end of the 4th quarter. It will be far more interesting to see what became of those goals in a year and I don't need to read that blog to know that improving my weight and overall physical health is a major goal of mine. My thoughts and behavior have made that oh so clear. So, what have I accomplished in this area? Well, this little flower has been blossoming very slowly, but I'm %100 percent okay with that! At least now I am. I have only lost 9.4 pound since mid January, but in that time I have a learned a lot and feel more confident than ever that I am making a lifestyle change. I say this because when I fell of the wagon in Michigan and gained 2.6 pounds that week, I got back on and lost 1.8 of it last week. Normally I'd give up, but since I didn't give up, I realized how important this is to me. I've been very motivated again this week, which excites me and encourages me. I learned that you don't have to give up and gain all the weight back, plus some, to find the motivation again. You can take a week break, gain 2.6 pounds, face the piper (i.e. the scale/meeting) and be ready to go again. For this reason, and also because they often lead a feelings of disappointment leading to destructive behavior, I am not setting long term number goals anymore. I am going to live in the moment with WW so that it doesn't feel like there will be an end at some point. There can't be an end. It has to be a learned behavior that lasts forever. I learn a little something new every week.

This week my goals are to get my place and my life organized before my trip. I want to really relax in San Diego, but if I leave my apartment a mess or bills unpaid, etc. I will be worrying about it while I'm away. I hate that!!! I can't wait for fish tacos and corn chips. Have I mentioned that? And the mango margaritas? And the sunshine? And the friends and the laughter? And the palm trees and the wild parrots? And the beach? I love the beach!! I looked up yoga studios today and I might just take a class or two while I'm there. Exercise on vacation??? What? That's crazy!

I'm so excited for this new quarter, which I am starting out as a blonde! First time I've ever had really blonde hair and so far I like it! I think the saying might be true and I see a lot of fun in my future!

Grateful-
My Mom encouraging to take the blonde hair plunge.
A nice, warm weekend.
You girls.
Getting my tax return the night before my vacation! Yeah!
My adorable kitty cats. I already miss them and I'm not even on vacation yet. WTH???

Nighty-Night