Wino, That's Me!

Last night I had an impromptu partay at my place. Actually, it was only two of us, but we consumed a LOT of wine, which I tracked the best I could, but who knows if I got it right. Not eating many points yesterday, I was drunk after 2 glasses. And I kept drinking. And then I was starving. And then I was not in a frame of mind that could control my eating. Today I have been feeling guilty about it and convinced that I gained, so I foolishly weighed myself at home and according to my scale, I've gained a pound and a half. From one night. Wow. We'll see what happens tomorrow morning, but it doesn't look good. 

I've also been feeling crappy due to the terrible conversation I had with my dad. I should not have called him after I'd been drinking, but he said some really hurtful things to my sister and I didn't really intend to bring it up, but again, that lack of control took over and I couldn't help myself. My sister is actually my half sister and I didn't meet her until I was 18 because she grew up in Europe. We're not super close because of that, but I sometimes still get this big sister thing happening and want to defend her. It was a stupid move on my part. I should have known better. I'd been having (finally) such nice conversations with my Dad lately and now that's pretty much been pissed away. I have to forgive him for telling me that he doesn't think I'm a good actress, but that will probably take a long time. I wonder if my issues with my dad have had any impact on my being single for 12 years and not wanting kids. Hmmm. Ya think! Dr. Phil, where are you?

Tonight I am going to bed early and then tomorrow I will be meeting a friend at yoga before my weigh-in, which is probably going to be terrible. Tomorrow night I'm going to see "Million Dollar Quartet" and will, as I always do, fall in love with at least one of the musicians. 

I'm am very grateful to have you girls to "talk" to, my Mom for listening to me last night when I was balling my drunken eyes out, my job for keeping afloat for the time being and low fat cheese. I love cheese. 

Night-Night